2017 League Thong Cup Tournament Results

Well another year and yet another league ending slug fest occurred at the Connecticut National Golf Club. 

First off, team DiNobile’s City Team, defeated team Guerra’s State Team by a score of 18 points to 14 points.   DiNobile, ever the shrewd drafter of match play talent, got maximum points from 5 of his players who earned 2 points each:  Jim Wardick, Garry Reilly, Steve Placella, Bob Moretti and Tom O’Hearn.  Guerra’s State Team had only 2 players earn maximum points: Rick Guerra and Dennis Ryan. 

Clearly the player of the day from the “A”  Division was Ken Mason, firing a gross, one over par 72 from the Blue tees.  Ken earned  1  1/2 points when he had to settle for a tie in one of his matches against Bill Gelsomino.  Gelsomino has been calling out Mason all year long but Ken put the wood to Bill on Saturday.  Bill, who hates to give strokes, eagerly accepted several strokes from Ken during each of their matches.  Mason was heard to say after the match, “Gelly’s golf school is a joke.  I stomped the jelly out of that  ‘has been’.  The matches weren’t even close.  Maybe now that little runt will stop bothering me!” 

Players of the day from the “B” Division were Dennis Ryan and Rick Guerra, both shooting gross 86s  from the White tees.  Playing off each other in the same foursome as teammates, Dennis and Rick took turns bitch slapping both Ernie Panos and Ken Norigian over the 18 holes.  Note that Rick Guerra has recently taken golf lessons from a “real pro”, not as he has said, that “fake Gelly’s Golf School.  Look what that fake school has done for my dear friend, Ernie’s golf game.  NOTHING!!!”

Notables:  Closest to Pins:  A-1 Division – Hole #4 – Bill Gelsomino;  A-2 Division – Hole #11 – Dan DeQuattro;  B-1 Division – Hole #7 – Mike DiNobile;  B-2 Division – Hole #15 – Jim McLaughlin;  All Players – Hole #9 – Dennis Ryan.

Notables:  Ken Mason scored a gross Eagle 3 on the par 5  Hole #1 (though Bill Gelsomino said it should have been a birdie on a long par 4 hole).

League Thong Cup Winning Team Payout:  Mike DiNobile (captain); Ken Mason, Steve Richtarik, John Graham, Jim Wardick, Bob Moretti, Steve Placella, Garry Reilly, Jim McLaughlin, Kevin Lawrence, Ernie Panos, Ken Norigian, Bill Iannotti, Tom O’Hearn, Randy Kosh – $40.00 to each player.

Please don’t ask to see the scorecards from the matches as they were shredded shortly after play ended and have already been deposited in the State Central Landfill.

 

REMEMBER!!!!!!!!   The end of year dinner, drinks, prizes and awards on the league is scheduled for Wednesday, September, 27, 2017 @ 6:30 pm at the Kelly Gazzero VFW Post, 1418 Plainfield Pike, Cranston.  If you haven’t yet responded yeah or nay as to your attendance, please let Steve Placella know immediately.

Playoffs and another Phone Conversation

The one night playoffs took place last evening with a modified quota format that Bill Gelsomino diabolically devised in the basement of his home after several beers.    Seven teams took part and there was initially a 3-way tie for first place between the teams of Dan DeQuattro, Bill Gelsomino and Bob Johnson with 78 points each.  If a team didn’t have a full contingent of 4 players, Bill simply doubled the score of the player who was in the division of the absent player.  In the case of Bob Johnson’s team, both Nick Travis and Fran Chatelle were absent, so both Bob and his B partner, Jim Meikle’s scores were doubled.  As a result they were in a 3 way tie for 1st place.  Upon matching cards and totaling the points earned for the highest handicap hole, the Johnson team came away with the victory.

Playoff results:  1) Johnson team – 78 pts; 2) Gelsomino team 78 pts; 3) DeQuattro team 78 pts; 4) Wardick team 73 pts; 5) Vin Lafazia team 67 pts; 6) Castigliego team 66 pts;  Mason team 62 pts.

Other notables for the night:  Low Gross A Division  – Bill Gelsomino – 38; Low Gross B Division – Mike DiNobile – 42; Low Net A Division – Steve Placella – 39-8=31; Low Net B Division – Mike DiNobile – 42-9=33;  Most individual points earned A Division – Steve Placella – 24; Most individual points earned B Division – Jim McLaughlin – 23.

Note:  Jim McLaughlin carded a gross eagle 3 on the 13th hole resulting in a net albatross (double eagle 2).

Please read below for yet another Ken Mason  phone conversation.  (Click on the conversation to enlarge)

Apparently, once again, the Thong League Spy Program intercepted yet another phone conversation between Kenny Mason and his son, Derek, after yet another crushing loss to Bill Gelsomino on August 24th.  Below is a text of the conversation:

Apparently, the Thong League Spy Program inadvertently  intercepted a phone conversation between Kenny Mason and his son, Derek after Kenny’s crushing loss to Bill Gelsomino a couple of weeks ago.  Below is a text of the conversation:

Click on the text to enlarge

A View from the Scorer’s Table – Matches of August 10, 2017

  Click on the image to enlarge it if you dare!   That’s right league members!  Superman paid a visit to our league last Thursday.

Team Lawrence continued its march through the league schedule and grabbed another 19 points last week to boost their league leading point total to 219.5.  Team Lawrence was led by the odds on player of the year candidate, Mike DiNobile, who absolutely slaughtered Dennis  “I’m not a porn star” Ryan in their match,  8.5 points to 1.5.  Certainly not to be overlooked, Bill Gelsomino, who predicted a victory by the 16th hole, tap danced all over Ken Mason, and yes, closed out the match by the 16th.  Word is that Mason drank the Kool Aid and has now enrolled in Gelly’s Golf School.  Team Panos, now securely in 2nd place, has valiantly fought to close the gap between it and Team Lawrence.  Unfortunately, even a questionable so-called scoring error which “robbed” the Lawrence boys of 20 points a couple of weeks age, hasn’t allowed Panos’ boys to close the gap.  Captain Ernie Panos, apparently is now looking to solidify his team for next year’s draft as he was recently marveling at the way Nick “Gilligan” Travis can multi-task in that he can heave his golf club a pretty long way while at the same time, scream various expletives.  Ernie has long hoped to draft a dream team of such versatile golfers/throwers/yellers – On Ernie’s short list of draftees next year is of course Nick Travis and Fran Chatelle.  Rumor has it that he is also closely watching Joe “Smiling Joe” Molis and Dan “Lobsterfest” Deinzer to fill that coveted fourth spot on his team.  Our investigators have also found out that Ernie believes that none other than Bob Johnson is an untapped resource for that type of versatile golfer that Ernie seeks.  Apparently, Ernie believes that Bob has a seething inner core that is just waiting to explode and Ernie feels that he is the guy to bring that out in Bob.  If Bob is in fact, drafted by Ernie, Bob will need to undergo a  psychological program that Ernie has created, that is specifically designed to bring out all of the versatile traits that Ernie seeks in a member of his team…       

      Slogging our way into the final week of league play, in the individual points races, A-1 Division –  Ray “my name is Raymond” Castigliego, has shaken off all of last year’s baggage and continues to maintain a 7 point point lead over his nearest rival, Bill Gelsomino.  A-2 Division leader, newcomer John Lang has a 9 point lead over current 2nd place holder, Bob Johnson.  In the B-1 Division, player of the year candidate, Mike DiNobile has a 6.5 point lead over last year’s player of the year, Joe “Smiling Joe” Molis.  Finally, in the B-2 Division, rookie, Nick Travis has a slim 3.5 point lead over Kevin “Big Baby” Lawrence.  It appears that the pressure may be getting to the rook, Nick, as last week he didn’t wear his lucky Gilligan hat and he displayed some uncharacteristic displays of temper.  The former UConn basketball great, Kevin “Big Baby ” Lawrence, simply displayed the confident heir of someone who has been there before and surely, will be there again.  Nick plays Dennis Ryan, who in a bit of an off year, has shown in the past that he can gobble up match points.  While the “Big Baby”, will square off against Bob Maresca, who has been a literal point machine this year.  So keep an eye on this match.  It can be seen in delayed broadcast on ESPN2 at 9:00 pm on Friday,  August 18…..  Hey, maybe Superman will show up for this match…  By the way, Steve “Statman” Richtarik, who unfortunately had to play against Superman last week, just had Lasik eye surgery to insert new cornea to each of his eyes as they apparently were burned off while staring at Superman on the 10th tee…

A View from the Scorer’s Table Matches of August 3, 2017

Apparently feeling dissed by the Statman’s so-called scoring error which resulted in their team’s 20 point lead over the second place team being reduced to 2 points, Team Lawrence ran roughshod over last week’s opponents.  THE RESULT!  Team Lawrence is  now enjoying a 10 point lead over the 2nd place pretenders, Team Panos.  Kevin “Big Baby” Lawrence, Captain of Team Lawrence, led the way with an 8.5 to 1.5 point trouncing of Garry Reilly.  Always a tough opponent, Reilly was heard to mumble while stalking off to his car, “I think that the “Big Baby slipped me a ruffie!”…  Kevin just smiled and shouted to all within earshot, “That will teach you to mess with the “Big Baby, motherfuc#%*!!!  Meanwhile, 2nd in command and general manager of Team Lawrence, Mike DiNobile, who himself grabbed 6.5 points from Ken “the Sphinx” Norigian and still angry at the Statman for his team’s reduction in points, was seen walking brazenly to the Statman’s car while carrying a box labeled C-4.  Bill Gelsomino, slated to play in the Myrtle Beach World Am Golf Tournament in a couple  of weeks, turned in a stellar 3 over 38 in a pummeling of Bob Moretti and grabbed 7 points.  Unfortunately, Steve Placella, barely breaking 50 over the last 6 weeks, was annihilated by Bob Moretti, to the tune of 8.5 points to 1.5.  When Mike DiNobile heard of this embarassing drubbing, he was observed walking away from the Statman’s league funded Lexis and placing the box of C-4 under the hood of Placella’s car.  Placella hasn’t been heard from since last week.

Announcement of the Week:   Gelly’s Golf School has announced that it has signed a lifetime contract to teach golf and whatever other life skills that Bill Gelsomino may have, to Mason W. DeChristofaro, a two month old prodigy.  While the child is already reading, writing and doing complex math problems, Gelsomino feels that he can stop this child from such foolishness and teach him only the game of golf, the “Gelly” way.     The maternal grand parents of Mason are a bit concerned as Gelsomino, in the above picture, is carrying the kid the same way he used to carry a football when playing in college.  Hence  Bill’s infamous record of 52 fumbles in 34 games, an NCAA division 2 record. 

Other notables from last week:  Jim Wardick is now batting .250 for the season.  He’s made 3 out of  12 matches.  Paul DeMasi is still in the Brazilian witness protection program and thanking his league twin, John Lang,  for keeping up his end of the bargain and then some.  John is leading the A-2 division in individual points and has been the leading earner on his team keeping them in the pennant hunt, presently in 2nd place.  Also, the ever affable, “Ray”mond  Castigliego, is perched atop of the A-1 division with 63 points.  He has quietly stayed at or near the top of that leaderboard all year long.  The struggle for dominance in the B-2 division is down to two mad dogs.  That’s right!  the 2016 league player of the year, Smiling Joe Molis with 64 points, lurks in 2nd place sniffing the behind of Mike DiNobile who has earned 69 points to date.  With only 2 weeks of league play remaining, Molis needs to pick up the pace in his upcoming matches with Garry Reilly and Bill Iannotti.  But the real question is “Can anyone stop Mike DiNobile?”  I think not.   In the B-2 division, newcomer and Gilligan look-a-like, Nick Travis, with 62.5 points has a small lead of  Kevin “Big Baby” Lawrence, 59 points.  The former UConn basketball legend, with his new swing coach in tow, has been through these wars before.  Over the final two weeks of the season, “Big Baby” is playing Rick Guerra and Bob Maresca.  The “Baby” will have his hands full as both Guerra and Maresca have had great years to date.  Look for the “Baby” to put the pedal to the metal in his coming matches.  Nick Travis will be teeing it up against Bill Iannotti and Dennis Ryan in the final weeks.  Both would love to be the spoilers in their matches against Nick.  The league hierarchy has yet to get a gauge on Nick and is not sure how Nick will respond to the relentless pressure that will be placed upon him over the next two weeks…

Finally….   Bobby Brown came through his heart surgery in fine fashion and by his own account, “is getting stronger every day!”……. So lets keep some prayers coming his way to get him through this.  If anyone wants to send him a get well card, his address is 23 MacArthur Dr, Warwick, RI  02889. 

A View from the Scorer’s Table – Week 11 – July 27, 2017

The Heat is on!!  Team Panos is hot on the heels of the 1st place Team Lawrence in the coveted Thong League Team Standings.  After a very, very favorable and questionable re-calibration of Team Lawrence’s points, Team Panos and Team Battista have shot up the standings.  After a great week, Team Panos is only 2 points behind the long time front runners, Team Lawrence.  Thanks can go to Newcomer/old comer, John Lang who grabbed 7.5 points from Ray Castigliego in a substitute match.  Meanwhile, Vin “Maggott” LaFazia, stomped all over Castigliego in their regular match to the tune of 6.5 points to 3.5 points.  Meanwhile, Joe Molis grabbed 6.5 points in a substitute match and Captain Ernie Panos grabbed another 6 points in his matchLook out because this group of hobos are on a roll!!!

A View from the Scorer’s Table – Matches of July 20, 2017

There were some interesting results last week.  First of all, Steve “Statman” Richtarik was manhandled by newcomer/oldcomer, John Lang to the tune of 6 1/2 points to 3 1/2 points.  Lang hit the Statman with so many lefts that he was begging for a right (sorry-had to say that).  After the match, the Statman slinked off to his palacial estate in western Cranston while mumbling to himself,     “I am the Statman.  I can adjust anyone’s handicap any time I want.  I gave him 3 strokes.  That’s never going to happen again!” …   Never to be confused with a pretty boy, Vin “Maggott” Lafazia tuned up the “Pretty Boy” himself, Dan DeQuattro by a score of 6 points to 4.  Word is that it was so warm and muggy on the course, that the “Pretty Boy” somehow came down with a yeast infection…  In another highly anticipated match, Joe “Smiling Joe” Molis absolutely bludgeoned Bobby Battista in their match, 8 points to 2 points.  Some who saw the match said Battista rolled over on his back faster than a $2 hooker.  In yet another felony assault that few could call a golf match, Ken “the Sphinx” Norigian took the wood out and layed it on Jim Meikle to the tune of 7 points to 3 points.  Kenny wanted to discuss the match after the round but Meikle angrily trudged off in silence, leaving Ken to discuss the match with himself…    In one of the more anticipated matches, as he predicted, Garry Reilly taught a lesson to the hot newcomer, Nick Travis, cruising by him 6 points to 4…   FINALLY,  Ernie “the priest” Panos, the lone and prized student in “Gelly’s Golf School”, ran into a buzz saw when he faced off against Bob Maresca. Bob has continued his romp through the B-1 division and used Ernie as a pinata grabbing 7 points to Ernie’s 3 point.  Bill Gelsomino was secretly evaluating Ernie’s progress during the round and witnesses reported that  Bill was continually throwing up, turning his head away in horror  and finally stomped off in anger after the 2nd hole.  I guess the evaluation was over.

BY THE WAY, BOBBY BROWN UNDERWENT HEART SURGERY TODAY.  LET’S GIVE HIM OUR PRAYERS AND BEST WISHES FOR A COMPLETE AND SPEEDY RECOVERY…

See all on Thursday…

A View from the Scorer’s Table after Week #8 (June 22, 2017)

Well here we are at the half way point in the season and this is how things have shaken out so far.

Smiling Joe Molis is still cranky and is once again knocking on the point leader’s door in his B-1 division…

Kenny Mason is running away with this year’s birdie competition as he has doubled up the nearest competition with 9 birdies to date…

Kevin “Big Baby” Lawrence is throwing down monster dunks on just about everyone in the league and has led his team to the 1st half division league…

The team of Gelsomino, Placella, DiNobile and Lawrence have a 9.5 point lead over their nearest competition, the teams of Vin LaFazia, Lang, Molis and Panos and the team of  Chatelle, Johnson, Meikle and Travis… It appears that Kevin Lawrence feels that the lead is insurmountable as the mercurial “Big Baby” was seen “moonwalking” his way across the 9th green last Thursday…

Newcomer, Nick Travis, has been crushing his competition and is the midway leader in the B-2 division.  But wait.  In his next scheduled match on July 13 (week #9), he is playing none other than the “Big Baby”.  The Baby, a former UConn Huskie basketball great,  was heard to say bring on the kid, I’m going to crush him like a whoopie cushion.  Like all great athletes, the “Big Baby” has said that in competition, the game seems to slow down for him.  The foursome behind him and the foursome behind them can surely attest to that fact…

Bill Gelsomino was undefeated in matches thru week 7.  Unfortunately, in week #8 his ass was kicked by Dan “I’m not whining, that’s the way I talk” Deinzer to the tune of 7 points to 3…

Garry Reilly (B-1 Division) is the only undefeated and untied player in the league through all of the 5 matches that he has played to date.  Kenny Mason is the only other undefeated player in the league as he has won 3 times and tied 3 times in the 6 matches that he has played to date…

WHAT????       This past week when this writer informed Ken “the Sphinx” Norigian, that his group was first off the tee and that his group needed to set the pace for the rest of the league, Ken stated that he doesn’t slowing things down, “it’s always the golfers that I play with” …  HUH???  This is a very clear sign that true reality is now upside down and I wear a medium golf shirt….

SLICK WHO???    Jim “Slick” Wardick, who, on only 2 occasions this year, has graced our presence this year with his hulking silouette, has once again, been the anchor of the 1st half of the season by sinking his team to a comfortable 7th place to date.  Captain, Ken “the Sphinx” Norigian, has been desparately  trying to sell, trade and bargain away the Slickster.  Unfortunately, there have been no takers.  Ken even hung Slick on the waiver wire, but we all know what happened to the wire…

FINALLY!!!    Where the hell  is Paul DeMasi?  Some of our newcomers are even asking, “Who the hell is Paul DeMasi?”  Well, for those not in the know, Paul is firmly ensconced and enrolled in the Thong League Witness Protection Program that is run by MetLife Insurance.  Due to the prevailing dangerous atmosphere, Paul seldom ventures into Rhode Island’s open air.  He is more apt to be seen cavorting the fairways of Myrtle Beach, SC, trudging the warm sands of Dubai, avoiding drug cartels in Mexico City and of course taking in the arousing and breathtaking thonged beaches of Brazil.  If anyone has caught a glimpse of Paul, the former “King of Myrtle Beach”, please let us all know…

 

REMEMBER!!!!!  There is a team event this Thursday (June 29th).  Let Steve Richtarik know if you are playing ASAP so he can set a proper format ($5 per person).

There are no league matches on July 6th (4th of July Week).  The next official league matches will take place on Thursday, July 13th (week #9 on the schedule).

HAVE A GREAT AND SAFE 4TH!!!

 

A View from the Scorer’s Table after Week #7 – June 15, 2017

Team Play:  Well after week 7, team Lawrence, with a steady dose of points from from Mike “the enforcer” DiNobile and captain, Kevin “Big Baby” Lawrence, have opened up a 5.5 point lead over the rag tag second place team of hobos led by newcomer, Nick Travis.  Lawrence’s team has only been slightly helped by their so-called “A” players, Gelsomino and Placella.  On the other hand, the 2nd place team, captained by Jim Meikle, has ridden the red hot Travis (42 individual points) and some timely play from A-lister, Bob Johnson and captain Jim Meikle to an improbable 2nd place at this point in the season.  Fran Chatelle, the other so-called “A” player in this horse race has appeared old and sluggish and ready for the glue factory.  Securely in 3rd place, but moving up the line fast is team Guerra with 101.5 points.  Led by the stellar play of  “A” man, Ken Mason, who is averaging around 6 points per match and with the consistent play of  their other A-lister, Dan Deinzer and B-listers, Dennis Ryan and captain, Rick Guerra, they are the team to watch in the 2nd half.  Still staying in the hunt in 4th place is team Battista with 100.0 points to date.  Bob Maresca has been the star of this team (35 individual points) with Steve “Statman” Richtarik and captain Bob Battista consistently kicking in some points on a weekly basis.  All 3 of these players are looking at “A” player, Dan “Prety Boy” DeQuattro, and on  more than one occasion saying, “What the fu#k?’, with Dan only earning 1/2 point this past Thursday.  Richtarik was heard to say that “a corpse could even get 2 points in any match!  How the hell did he only get 1/2 point!”  

BIRDIE WATCH:   KEN MASON WITH 8 BIRDIES TO DATE IS BLOWING AWAY THE COMPETITION AND HAS DOUBLED UP HIS NEAREST RIVALS.

Individual Play:  In the “A-1” Division, quiet, Ray Castigliego and Bill “Gelly-man” Gelsomino lead the way with 40.0 points each.  Ray has “earned” his points through hard matches against very tough opponents while Billy Gel has amassed his points against the feeble, the infirm and the dead. 

In the “A-2” Division, not so newcomer, John Lang, playing every single scheduled match, has earned 37.5 points.  League members have been heard to chant, “We want DeMasi!  We want DeMasi”, in hopes of beating up on the beleaguered and seldom seen Paul Demasi, who, by the way, is the other half of the 2 headed team of Lang and DeMasi.

The “B-1” Division is headed by Mike “the enforcer” DiNobile with 39.0 points.  However, Joe “Smiling Joe”  Molis, with 38.5 points is quickly creeping up Mike’s backside.  Could this be why Joe is smiling?.

It appears that newcomer, Nick Travis, has an insurmountable lead in The “B-2”  Division with 42.0 points.  But wait a minute!  Ken “the sphinx” Norigian at 34.5 points is silently moving his way up the B-2 Division leader board.  Look for Ken, with cat like quickness, to pounce on the unsuspecting rookie, Travis.  Also, waiting in the wings with 30.0 points is  Ernie “the mormon”  Panos.  Ernie was heard to say when he was made aware that the Nick was 12 points ahead of him, “That kid better watch his back.  I’ll fuc# him up in our next match”!  As Ernie is of Greek ancestry, his statement may have a double meaning.  Heads up Nick…

Fore til next time……

A View from the Scorer’s Table after Week #3

Team Lawrence, led by its reluctant leader, Kevin “Big Baby” Lawrence, presently holds a slim 2 point lead of the Team Battista.  The “Big Baby”  has earned 22 points alone over the first 3 weeks of league play and is showing his leadership by example.  All members of  the Lawrence team have contributed to their early lead.  However, fill in captain Mike DiNobile’s game hit a pot hole last week when he came in with a puny 3.5 points.  When the ever positive “Big Baby” was made aware of this, he indicated that this was probably a misstep for Mike D and he was sure that he would be back on track this coming week.  Apparently that is how Team Lawrence rolls – all positive and encouragement.  On the other hand, Team Battista, led by the “Bobsie Twins” of Bob Battista and Bob Maresca, have been slaughtering their opponents each and every week.  When Battista learned that the so-called “A” players on his team (Steve “Statman” Richtarik and Dan “Pretty Boy” DeQuattro) earned only 6.5 points combined in last week’s play, he immediately inquired about the league trade deadline and waiver wire provisions.  Battista was distraught when he was told that the trade deadline had passed and that the waiver wire had snapped when Jim Wardick was placed on it a couple of weeks ago.  As he walked away, Battista was heard to grumble, “Those f*#!*ing bums better start earning points for my team or heads will roll!”  Bob Maresca, quiet as always, just shook his head in agreement.  Richtarik overheard Battista’s rant and shouted back at Battista, “If you and the “Pretty Boy” hadn’t gone for that couples electrolosis treatment in week 2 and been no-shows for that week, we could have been in first place”… We will see what next week brings for this team.

In individual play after 3 weeks, Garry Reilly and Bob Maresca are point making machines in the B-1 division, while Kevin Lawrence, Rick Guerra and Bob Battista are cutting a wide swarth through the B-2 division.  In the A-1 division, John Graham and Ken Mason are leading the way, while in the B-2 division, Bob Johnson has an early lead in points earned.

Matches of the Week #4:

Bob Battista  v  Garry Reilly:   In this one, two point making machines from different divisions will face off against each other.  The big factor will be how the “Statman” doles out the candy to his teammate.  When Reilly was asked for his comments, he just shook his head and said, “I’m used to getting f*#ked in this league.  I’m probably giving 3 or 4 strokes”…

Vin “Maggot” LaFazia  v  Bob Johnson:  There may be no candy to give in this match, so it should be a doozy.  Both players’ games have been very steady but LaFazia may have the edge because he likes quiet when he plays and Bob Johnson, unlike Lafazia,  is a quiet and considerate player.  The betting line is that Johnson, in order to beat the “Maggot”, will need to talk to LaFazia as LaFazia addresses the ball, just before he swings and even after his shot.  This may so unnerve the “Maggot” that Johnson can coast to a win…

A View from the Scorer’s Table after Week #2

After 2 weeks of league play and with the warm weather finally upon us, some interesting league developments have occurred.

Team Enforcer and Captain Mike DiNobile’s team of hobos have forged a tenuous hold onto first place in the team standings.  This lofty perch is due to the stellar play of none other than Kevin “Big Baby” Lawrence who has trudged his way to earning 15 individual points over the 1st two weeks of the season.  DiNobile seems to have “his” team in line as he sat out Steve Placella during the 1st week due to an unspecified team violation.  Apparently Gelsomino and Lawrence were aggressively lobbying the captain to sit Placella out for even more weeks, but Captain DiNobile silenced both of those magpies with just a steely stare…

It seems that the present 2nd place team captained by Bob Battista is not made for the long season.  After a fabulous 1st week of play and earning 20 team points, Captain Battista and teammate, Dan “Pretty Boy” DeQuattro  chose to both sit out last week’s matches.  DeQuattro, who rarely plays when the chance of rain is greater than 10% for fear that his hair may frizz, was inexplicably absent and Battista may have intentionally stayed home last Thursday night simply to show league upstart/czar/president/ruler, Steve Richtarik, that you need 3 to make a team in this league.  It seems that Battista may have felt that the power grabbing Richtarik forgot who in fact was their team captain.  The result:  Battista’s team earned only 14 points last Thursday…

The Birdie Wars are heating up.  After failing to get any prize for scoring the most natural birdie’s in last year’s league, John “G-String” Graham is determined to make the race for Birdie dominance, relevant.  After 2 weeks of play, the leaders in the outhouse are John Graham, Bill Gelsomino and Steve Richtarik with 2 each…

Individual Point leaders after 2 weeks of play are as follows:  A1 Division:  Steve Richtarik – 13.0 pts;  A2 Division: Bob Johnson – 13.0 pts;  B1 Division:  Bob Maresca – 14.0 pts;  B2 Division:  Kevin Lawrence – 15.0 pts.