MATCHES OF THE WEEK FOR WEEK #12
John “G-string” Graham v. Joe “Smilin’ Joe” Molis - This should be a doozy of a match. Graham has been playing well of late and both his team and he individually are pushing the divisional leaders for league supremacy. Smilin’ Joe has been a virtual buzz saw all season long as he has taken on all comers in the “A” division and has sent them packing with a boot in the behind. Ever humble, Joe said for all that were in earshot, “It’s amazing that each so-called “A” golfer that I’ve played in this bogus league has succumbed to the relentless pressure that my game places on them and of course, to my winning personality”. He also said for all to hear with regards to his match against John Graham, “I can’t wait to play that fat, hairless son of a bitch. I know all of his tricks. He’s a dead man”. All Graham, who has suffered hearing loss as a result of his former very strenuous state position, could say was, “What did he say?” Graham then turned to Vin “Maggott” Lafazia, no slouch in the hearing loss department, and asked him, “What did he say?” LaFazia then turned to Graham and said, “What”? Graham then repeated, “What did he say?” LaFazia said again, “What”? Graham then repeated, “What did he say?” LaFazia then said… WELL YOU GET THE PICTURE… This should be a very, very, very volatile match.
Bob Moretti v. Jim McLaughlin - Bob and newcomer, Jim are each ranked #1 in the B1 & B2 individual standings respectively at this stage of the season. While Jim ran off to an early lead in the individual points race and has led the division for most of the season, Bob has been on fire of late and caught and passed Jim Meikle a few weeks ago. At present, both guys have earned 59 1/2 points so far and each is clinging to a two (2) point lead over his 2nd place divisional challenger. Because both of these guys are gentlemen, I doubt if there will be any trash talking going on. In fact, both of these guys are pretty quiet, so there may be no talking at all… This will be a great match to watch.
Jim Meikle v. Tom “TO” O’Hearn - Jim is in 2nd place in the B1 division and Tom is tied for 3rd in the B2 divisions. While each has led his own division at varying times this year, each golfer comes into this match in a bit of a slump and looking a bit dazed and confused. Meikle has yet to get settled after taking a week off and having no points awarded for that week and O’Hearn appears to have hit the wall over the last few weeks. It seems that O’Hearn, a staunch Democrat and Hillary Clinton supporter, led his division for a good stretch this season. Apparently, “TO” didn’t like the view from the mountain top and has quickly slid down to a more comfortable 3-4 position in his division. “TO”s mom, a wonderful woman who is a devout Catholic of Itlalian descent, has taken out all of the stops for this match. She has worn her rosary beads down to a nub, and has met with her local pastor, the Bishop and the Pope in order to get them on board with the “prayer train” for “TO”. She has traveled near and far in search of a miracle for her bambino, “TO”. Failing that, word is out that “TO”s mom is carrying an ice pick and has vowed to place it cleanly, quietly and with finality into the ear of any of “TO”s opponent. Our investigators report that she may be disguised as “TO”s caddy this week. So Jim, a word to the wise… If you see a short, little old Italian lady adorned with rosary beads and lugging “TO” s bag from his car, stay in your own vehicle and forfeit the match. This can only end badly for you….