2016 THURSDAY NIGHT THONG LEAGUE AT TRIGGS MEMORIAL GOLF COURSE

We are in the process of  making preparations for the 2016 Thursday Night Golf League at Triggs Memorial Golf Course.

The initial league meeting will take place on THURSDAY,  MARCH 31, 2016 AT 6:30 pm at the KELLEY GAZZERRO VFW POST LOCATED AT 1418 PLAINFIELD STREET, CRANSTON, RI.  AT THAT TIME,  LEAGUE FORMAT AND RULES WILL BE DISCUSSED, TEAMS WILL BE CHOSEN, DUES WILL BE COLLECTED AND DINNER AND DRINKS ON THE LEAGUE WILL BE SERVED.  

IF YOU ARE INTERESTED OR KNOW OF SOMEONE WHO MAY BE INTERESTED, PLEASE HAVE THEM GET IN CONTACT WITH STEVE PLACELLA  AT SPLACELLA@COX.NET OR 255-3478.  

DUES AGAIN THIS YEAR WILL BE $160.00 AND WILL COVER THE COST OF LEAGUE PRIZES AND AWARDS, 3 LEAGUE DINNERS, DRINKS AND A YEAR END TOURNAMENT AT A PREMIUM GOLF COURSE.  CHECK OUT THIS WEBSITEFOR MORE INFORMATION.

Walt’s Wenches Return Home from Florida with a decisive Victory over Slick’s Stoonods

2015 Florida Thong League Golf Trip

 

Final Day's ResultsDaily Tournament Results

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This year, from November 11 – 16,   35  golfers and 2 pros descended upon Kissimmee, Florida in the annual battle for the coveted Thong Cup.  Once again, Jim “Slick” Wardick, much like the  captain of the Titanic, drove his team (Slick’s Stoonods) into the ocean floor.  You would think that Slick would get driving lessons as he keeps doing the same thing over and over and over again -.  Yep, Walt’s Wenches broke out to a 6 point lead after the first day of matches and thereafter kept the Stoonods barely in sight in their rear view mirror.  By the last day of matches, the Stoonods needed to win 15 out of the 18 match points available that day in order to pull out a victory.  Alas, it was not to be.  The Wenches cruised to yet another lopsided victory over the disgruntled Stoonods.  Frank Fezzuoglio, one of the more verbal Stoodnods, said that new leadership was needed and that Slick and his assistant, Ed DiMartino, may soon find themselves in the trunk of an old Cadillac.  Fezzuoglio went on to say that Slick wouldn’t fit in the trunk of a mid size car or smaller.  He did say however, that Ed D would fit nicely in the trunk of one of those little smart cars.  Other observers felt that Slick was more interested in eating at Walt Geer’s condo than he was urging his team to victory.  Slick did make one final desperate effort to disrupt the Wenches’  juggernaut.  Slick and Ed DiMartino, after a night of alcoholic adventures, exploded into Walt Geer’s condo at 3:30 am on Saturday, prior to the third day of matches (so-called moving day).  After waking and disrupting all on the first floor and upset that all sleeping on the 2nd floor were ignoring his overtures, Slick, with cat like quickness, bolted up the stairs and proceeded to body slam Steve Placella who was having his own dream about the 75 that he had shot on the previous Thursday thereby bringing his dream to a very premature end.  Next, Slick extracted Walt Geer’s mattress from his bed (with Walt on it for a very short time) and dragged it down to the first floor family room.  Luckily, Walt saw the wisdom in rolling off the mattress before it went down the stairs one by one by one.  Once all were awake and in the 1st floor family room, more chaos ensued and continued until all left for the golf course later that morning.  There was not a wink of sleep to be had after 3:30 that morning.  Not lost in the aftermath of Slick’s chaotic adventure, was Ken Norigian’s diabolical use of a cell phone app that provided fake phone calls and had some golfer’s delivering personal items to other golfers at ungodly hours.  For that, Ken has been named the  Thong League’s Director of Communications and IT.  We figured it was best to have him on our side than against.  Needless to say, most of Saturday’s scores  left a lot to be desired.  By Sunday’s final tournament matches,  the Stoonods’ goose was cooked and the sweet smell of victory was wafting through the Wenches’ condos.  Dan Deinzer and the Buffalo boys once again did a wonderful job for Saturday’s cookout and Dan, as always, kept his famous Bloody Marys flowing.

 

The Thong League Lands in Orlando

In two short days, the Thong League, with a contingent of 34 golfers, will be taking over the Hapimag Resort in Orlando, Florida, for its annual golf extravaganza.  The teams have been selected, the handicaps have been set (despite some whining) and the match schedules have been finalized.  The following golf courses are on the menu and will be served up to a hungry group of golfers:  Champions Gate Country Club, Grand Cypress Golf Club – The New Course, Southern Dunes Golf Club, Shingle Creek Golf Club, Disney Magnolia Golf Club, Disney Palm Golf Club and the spectacular , Ritz Carlton Golf Club.  All of the courses are the best that are available in that area, so none of the usual excuses should be in play, ie., “There were stones in the bunker,  there was hard pan in the rough, the greens were plugged”, etc.  So good luck to all and let your balls fly long and straight!!!

“QUEENS OF MYRTLE BEACH” PRANCE TO A ONE POINT VICTORY

The “Queens of Myrtle Beach”  pranced to a one (1)  point victory over the “Statmen” in the Thong League’s end of year Ryder Cup tournament at the Connecticut National Golf Club.    While the “Queens”  flitted off to an early substantial lead,  the “Statmen”  nearly sneaked in the back door with a late push of their own.  

The biggest “Queen” of the day was none other than the diminutive, but chubby, John “G-string” Graham who shot a gross 76 (net 66) with 3 birdies on the day.  It should be noted that John’s cartmate for the day, was Vin “Maggott” Lafazia, who farted his way to an 82 for the day.

Some individual accolades on the day:

Long Drive Competition:   Steve “Statman” Richtarik  - 284 yards.    The “Statman’s” surprising victory was not without controversy however.  Apparently, the “Statman’s”  brother in law, Doug Sherman, was perched in a golf cart along the right side of the fairway at 284 yards out on the 1st hole making sure that no one messed with Steve’s ball.  All of a sudden, last year’s long drive champ, Ken Mason  (name changed recently to Ken Audette), boomed a drive at Doug’s cart which was sure to pass the Statman’s puny, but leading drive.  Well Mason’s ball whistled under Sherman’s cart  where visual authentication was lost by Thong League drones for at least three (3) seconds.  Thereafter, Mason’s ball appeared to be mysteriously redirected into a sand trap just off the fairway, coming to rest 290 yards from the tee.  As Mason’s ball was now off the fairway, he was knocked from the competition.   Vin LaFazia reports that he heard the “Statman”  shout a “thank you” to his brother in law, Doug. 

Putting Competition:      Ernie Panos – 8’2″.      Ernie has apparently resurrected his game and has given all of the credit to “Gelly’s Golf School” .   As Ernie was giving his post competition remarks  and attributes to Gelly’s,  Derrick Gelsomino was laughing so hard that he fell out of his golf cart and was nearly struck by one of Ernie’s errant club tosses.  Jim Hunter, wose putt held 1st place for a while, predicted that this league would be a union shop next year with union people monitoring and scoring the events.

Sand Bunker Competition:         Bob Moretti – 3’2″.     Bob nearly missed the competition as someone had to retrieve  him from his foursome still playing on the 14th green.   True to form, Bob, one of the final players to compete in this competition, played the slope perfectly and rolled it to 3’2″, certainly within 3 putt range for even Steve Placella.

Short Iron Competition:        John “G-string” Graham – hole out from 45 yards –  This is the 2nd year in a row that a player has holed out in this competition.  Last year, good guy, Bob Johnson, holed one from 80 yards.  Graham put on a show in order to dispel the very loud rumors that his game was as dead as  Dean Wormer and Doug Niedermeyer in the movie “Animal House”.  He did it with his usual bold style.  

Closest to Pin Winners:      Ken Mason #4,  Ray Castigliego #7 (though Steve Placella was actually an inch closer),  Armand Monaco #9,  Bill Gelsomino #11  and Derrick Gelsomino #15.    

LEAGUE TOURNAMENT SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 13 – CONNECTICUT NATIONAL GC

Playoff Results of September 3, 2015 – Semifinal Rounds

Format – Team Net Aggregate

 

Castigliego/Sherman  (76)  defeat  Wardick/Placella  (84)

Anderson  (66)  defeats  Meikle/Panos  (77)

The league playoff finals will be held on Thursday, September 10th, 2015

The Castigliego/Sherman team will face off against the Anderson/DeQuattro team

 

REMEMBER!!!    OUR LEAGUE TOURNAMENT WILL TAKE PLACE THIS SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 13, 2015 AT THE CONNECTICUT NATIONAL GOLF CLUB IN PUTNAM, CT.   TEE TIMES WILL BEGIN AT 11:00 AM.  HOWEVER, THE DRIVING RANGE WILL HAVE FREE RANGE BALLS AVAILABLE FOR OUR LEAGUE PRIOR TO TEE OFF.  2 TEAMS OF 16 PLAYERS WILL BE SELECTED PRIOR TO THE 13TH AND EACH PLAYER WILL PLAY 2 – 9 HOLE MATCHES FOR HIS TEAM.  THE MATCHES ARE MATCH PLAY, BUT EACH GOLFER MUST ALSO PLAY OUT HIS BALL ON EVERY HOLE FOR THE INDIVIDUAL SCORING PORTION OF THE TOURNAMENT.  WE WILL HAVE CLOSEST TO THE PINS FOR EACH DIVISION ON THE PAR 3s.    THERE WILL ALSO BE A SKILLS COMPETITION AFTER THE ROUND IN THE FOLLOWING AREAS:  1) LONGEST DRIVE;   2)  PUTTING;  3)  GREEN SIDE BUNKER;                                 4)  SHORT IRON SHOT – 70-80 YDS.

APPETIZERS WILL BE AVAILABLE AFTER THE ROUND AND  A BUFFET DINNER (PRIME RIB, CHICKEN, POTATOES, VEGETABLE AND DESSERT WILL FOLLOW THE SKILLS COMPETITION.  ALL DRINKS ARE THE RESPONSIBILITY OF THE INDIVIDUAL GOLFER.  

ALSO!  ALSO!  ALSO!  ALSO!  THE YEAR ENDING LEAGUE BANQUET WHERE ALL PRIZES AND AWARDS WILL BE DISTRIBUTED WILL TAKE PLACE ON WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 16, 2015 AT 6:30 PM, AT THE KELLY GAZZERO VFW POST ON PLAINFIELD  STREET IN CRANSTON.  A BUFFET DINNER AND DRINKS ON THE LEAGUE WILL BE AVAILABLE TO ALL.  IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS, CALL (255-3478) OR E-MAIL (SPLACELLA@COX.NET) STEVE  PLACELLA. 

 

PLAYOFF RESULTS OF AUGUST 27, 2015

THE PLAYOFF SEMI-FINALS TOOK PLACE THIS PAST THURSDAY WITH A TEAM QUOTA AND THE RESULTS ARE AS FOLLOWS:

“A” DIVISION:    WARDICK/PLACELLA  +9  DEFEAT HARRINGTON +4

                                CASTIGLIEGO  +4   DEFEATS  JOHNSON  +4  (#1 Handicap Hole #6 Castigliego scored a 5 to Johnson’s 6)

“A”  DIVISION PLAYOFF FINALS WILL TAKE PLACE ON THURSDAY SEPTEMBER  3, 2015

             WARDICK/PLACELLA   vs    CASTIGLIEGO/SHERMAN

 

“B”  DIVISION:     MEIKLE/PANOS  +5   DEFEAT   MOLIS/BATTISTA   0

                                    ANDERSON  +3   DEFEATS   D. GELSOMINO  +1

 

“B”  DIVISION  PLAYOFF FINALS WILL TAKE PLACE ON THRUSDAY  SEPTEMBER 3, 2015

              MEIKLE/PANOS  vs  ANDERSON

 

LOSER’S  QUOTA  TOURNAMENT  AUGUST 27, 2015

DAN DEQUATTRO  +14,  JIM HUNTER  +9,  PAUL VOLPE +9,  BOB MORETTI  +7,  BILL GELSOMINO +7,   RICK  GUERRA  +5,  DENNIS RYAN  +4

ON THURSDAY,  SEPTEMBER  3,  2015  THERE  WILL  AGAIN  BE  A  SEPARATE  TOURNAMENT  FOR

ALL GOLFERS WHO ARE NO LONGER IN THE PLAYOFFS.   THE FORMAT FOR THIS TOURNAMENT

WILL  BE  DETERMINED  AT  A  LATER  TIME  AND  WILL  BE  E-MAILED  TO  ALL  LEAGUE 

MEMBERS  PRIOR  TO  THURSDAY!!!

 

1st ROUND PLAYOFF RESULTS (Matches held on August 20, 2015)

Format:  Team Net Aggregate (add gross scores then subtract handicaps)

“A “  DIVISION

Wardick/Placella (73)  defeat  B. Gelsomino/Hunter (75)

Castigliego/Sherman (71)  defeat  DeQuattro/Volpe  (79)

Harrington  (72)  defeats  V. LaFazia/Deinzer  (76)

“B”  DIVISION

Reilly/D. Gelsomino  (76)*   defeat   Lawrence/Monaco  (76)  (decided by lowest handicap hole #17 – Reilly team – 9; Lawrence team – 13)

Meikle/Panos  (78)  defeat  A. Taveras  (88)

Anderson  (72)  defeats  M. Taveras/Ryan  (79)

Molis/Battista  (78)*  defeat  Moretti/Guerra  (78)  (decided by 2nd lowest handicap hole #15 – Molis team – 12; Moretti team – 13)

NEXT  WEEK’S PLAYOFF MATCHES   -  AUGUST 27, 2015

Format:  QUOTA  -  Details will be posted and e-mailed to all participants

 

“A”  DIVISION

Wardick/Placella  v.  Harrington/Mason(?)

Johnson/J. LaFazia   v.   Castigliego/Sherman

“B”  DIVISION

Molis/Battista  v.  Panos/Meikle

Reilly/D. Gelsomino  v.   Anderson

Note:  On Thursday, August 27th, there will be a separate QUOTA tournament for all players who are no longer in the playoffs.  So  please show up on the 27th!!

PLAYOFFS BEGIN ON THURSDAY AUGUST 20, 2015

REMEMBER!!!!                 REMEMBER!!!!                REMEMBER!!!!                   REMEMBER!!!!           REMEMBER!!!!

LEAGUE  PLAYOFFS  WILL BEGIN THIS THURSDAY,  AUGUST 20TH .    

THE PLAYOFF FORMAT WILL CHANGE EACH WEEK OF THE PLAYOFFS.   THE FORMAT FOR THIS WEEK’S  MATCHES  ARE  AS  FOLLOWS:

1)  ”A”  PLAYER TEAMMATES WILL PLAY IN A MATCH AGAINST ANOTHER  ”A” PLAYER TEAM.

2)  ”B”  PLAYER TEAMMATES WILL PLAY IN A MATCH AGAINST ANOTHER “B” PLAYER TEAM.

3)   2 MAN NET TEAM AGGREGATE.   EACH PLAYER’S   NET  SCORE  WILL  BE  ADDED  TO  HIS        TEAMMATES  NET SCORE.   LOWEST   2  MAN NET SCORE IN THE MATCH WINS  AND THAT TEAM WILL MOVE ON TO  THE  NEXT  WEEK’S  PLAYOFF  MATCHES.

4)   EACH PLAYER MUST PLAY OUT THE HOLE AND PUTT  OUT HIS BALL.   NO GIMMEES.   NO PICKUPS.   IF ANY PLAYER FAILS TO PLAY OUT A HOLE, HE MUST SCORE A GROSS  10  FOR THAT HOLE.  NO  EXCEPTIONS.

5)   IF ANY TEAM MEMBER IS UNAVAILABLE FOR THE WEEK’S PLAYOFF MATCHES, THE REMAINING TEAM MEMBER WILL PLAY AGAINST BOTH OPPONENT TEAM MEMBERS.  THE LONE PLAYER’S NET SCORE WILL BE DOUBLED.

6)  EACH TEAM AND/OR INDIVIDUAL THAT LOSES IN ANY WEEK WILL THEN PLAY A NEW TOURNAMENT OR SERIES OF MATCHES IN THE SUBSEQUENT WEEKS.  THE FORMAT HAS YET  TO  BE DETERMINED.  TO KEEP ALL PLAYING, THERE WILL BE A SEPARATE TOURNAMENT EACH WEEK FOR THE TEAMS AND/OR INDIVIDUALS THAT LOST IN ANY OF THE PREVIOUS  PLAYOFF ROUNDS.   

“A”  DIVISION  MATCHES

1)    Dan DeQuattro  &  Paul  Volpe  v.  Ray Castigliego  &  Doug  Sherman

2)   Jim Wardick  &  Steve Placella  v.  Bill Gelsomino  &  Jim Hunter

3)   Jack  Harrington  v.  Vin Lafazia  &  Dan  Deinzer

4)   Bob Johnson  &  John LaFazia  have a 1st Round Bye

5)   Steve Richtarik  &  John Graham are both unavailable and are not playing

 

“B”  DIVISION  MATCHES

1)   Joe Molis  &  Bob  Battista   v.   Bob Moretti  &  Rick Guerra

2)  Kevin Lawrence  &   Armand  Monaco  v.  Garry  Reilly  &  Derrick  Gelsomino

3)   Bob Brown  &  Angel Taveras   v.   Jim Meikle   &   Ernie Panos

4)   Chris  Anderson   v.  Mike Taveras   &   Dennis Ryan                                                                                                                                                              

Week 14 – The Final Chapter

While it is a forgone conclusion that, but for a major disaster,  the Johnsons have sewed up the regular season championship.  However, places 2 through 5 are only separated by a total of 6  1/2 points, so there should be some jockeying as a result of the final week’s matches this Thursday.   The battle for last place rages as well.   Steve “Statman” Richtarik has consistently kept his team in the basement throughout the year.  He  should be congratulated for his team’s consistent mediocraty.  But beware.  Ray Castigliego’s band of hooligans are lurking a mere 2 points from the league cellar.  It is just a matter of which team will roll over and play dead for the greater number of holes.

It looks like the “A” division player of the year honors will be a contest between present individual points leader, Vin “Maggott” LaFazia, Bill “150 down the middle” Gelsomino, Paul Volpe and  Dan “Lobsterman” Deinzer.  They are only separated by 4 points heading into the final week of play.

The “B” division player of the year honors will be a contest between present individual points leader, “Smilin” Joe Molis,  newcomer, Bob Battista, Jim Meikle, Dennis Ryan, Mike (one of the Dominican triplets) Taveras, Kevin “Big Baby” Lawrence and Bob Moretti.  They are only separated by 8.5 points heading into the final week of play.

Some matches to watch this week:   Jim “Guinea Slayer” Hunter  v.  Jim “Slick” Wardick (Italian on mother’s side);   Dennis Ryan  v.  Chris  Anderson;  Bill “150 down the middle” Gelsomino  v.  Steve “I used to run this league” Placella

Finally, Bill Gelsomino will set up the upcoming playoff schedule and format this Thursday as well.  As always, it will be more than interesting.  Stay tuned….